For ten months that I was in an isolated cell, the news about other prisoners reached us through family visits or by Morse codes. The news were contradictory, either some prisoners were given leave for few days or some were forced to sign papers attacking their believes and dishonouring their political organisation and promising to abandon any political activity against the regime in order to be released from the prison. Nobody knew what was really happening and everybody had to make her own conclusion about the situation. One day about 10:00 am, I was called to the prosecutor's office, although I was blindfolded I could still see around me by raising my head, I noticed that my mother and sister were in the room. We held and kissed each other, then my sister said we've been asked to submit our house deeds to the prison authority so that you could have a prison leave.

The internal director of the prison ordered me to take off the blindfold. He said, you are granted prison leave according to the request of your family. I said I don't want prison leave. Why should I take prison leave, You have sentenced me to three years but detained me for seven years. I should be released immediately; I have no sentence left. Then he started to question me in the presence of my mother and sister. What do you think about the Islamic Republic? Well he did not like my answer and became angry, he turned to my mother and said, you see what kind of people we are dealing with? Such a people do not deserve to be treated kindly! Then he asked my opinion about the Fedai (minority). Then he shouted at me loudly and said you are all anti revolutionaries and should be executed. He said to my mother, she want us to set her free and let her go to Kurdistan to fight against us.

Then he turned to me and said, we know what to do with you when you are back in prison. We will let you join your comrades who have been executed, I said it does not surprise me, one more will be added to the lists of thousands already executed.

He became nervous and angry, banging on the table; the situation was very tense. My mother could not bear the situation. She was frightened, became pale and fell on the ground. She was unconscious for a few second, I shouted you've killed my mother. Naserian was afraid and called for a doctor, when my mother regained her consciousness, he started talking softly telling me to take the leave and make my decision later. I said I will take the leave but I will not be back voluntarily, they took me for a body search before the prison leave.

I could not believe that I would be free and alive out of Evin, until I put my foot outside. I raised my head to have a look at Evin prison and its tower, it looked like a castle from the time of Feudalism, those several storey buildings and tall trees inside could not be seen from outside. I was looking at the Evins' walls and was saying to myself "if the walls could only talk and express what they have witnessed or at least echo the sound of tortures or shooting"; so many crimes against humanity could have been revealed. Evin has represented capitalist suppression and repression of shah and Islamic Republic Regimes for the last 50 years. Evins' walls have witnessed the execution of many political prisoners and the blood of revolutionaries has watered red puppies on its fields.

We took a taxi and left the Evin. I was wearing a pair of men's slippers and a black Chador (Islamic covering for women), despite wearing it compulsory for many years in the prison, I still could not wear it properly on my head. I was weak, weighed only 45kg and the way I was wearing the Chador looked funny and was attracting attention. We stopped by a telephone in front of the Student's Park, I could still remember my best friend's telephone number and gave her a call, and her warm and excited voice from the other side made me happy and hopeful. We arranged to meet in her house, when we got there I was welcomed by friends and family, my mother repeated proudly what she had witnessed in the prison office.

My happiness was shattered when my mother had a second heart attack and died exactly twenty days after my release; her heart attack was caused due to the fact that she was worried about me being returned to the prison. She had her first heart attack in the prison office. She became another victim of Islamic Republic Regime in Iran; she was only 56 years old when she died. I have also heard about other parents who after hearing the news of their children's execution had heart attacks or strokes. Some died some were paralysed. There were those who became mentally ill and were asking everyone about their children, believing that they were still alive.

The families of the prisoners were under great pressure from many directions. During their prison visits they were treated very badly. When the Pasdaran (guards) saw them with young children or if they weren't feeling well, they would change their visiting time, making them even more worried about their loved ones, not knowing whether they would see their loved ones again. On several occasion the prison authority stopped the visits right at the last minutes without any reason telling the families that they could not see their children and would not say why. The families would go home thinking that their beloved have been executed, their anxiety would continue until the next visit the following month, the sound of the telephone ringing would make them jump.

Sometimes they would be arrested and kept in the prison several days for arguing with the Pasdaran, they would only be allowed to leave after giving undertakings that they would not say anything against the regime and would keep quite during the prison visits. They were also under pressure to force their children to agree to the regime's demands (these demands included acceptance of Islamic Republic Regime, repenting their believes etc.). The authority would tell the families if their children had any respect for them they would sign the repentance form. On one occasion an old man knelt in front of his daughter's feet crying and asking her to sign the form. This was very painful and upsetting for the prisoners. In order for one to understand the suffering of the parents of the political prisoners one must sit down with them listening to their pains and sufferings.

In this section I would like to talk about the prison conditions. The women prison experienced different conditions during the years; the same is probably true for men's prison. 1981-1982 was the years of revolutionary excitement, there were more than 100 prisoner in each room and the average age was 17 years old. The prisoners were executed group by group. Sometimes they would be selected for execution while others would sing revolutionary songs waiting for their turn. There was no fear among them; they would say good bye to their friends and comrades knowing that they were dying for a just cause. The majority of the prisoners were made up of:
Firstly students from high schools, secondly university students and then intellectuals in particular teachers, also mothers of prisoners and housewives. I myself saw a young girl who was only 13 years old when arrested that's why she got a prison term of 13 years. Unlike the other member of her group and despite the fact that she was under immense pressure from Tavubin (collaborators), guards and in particular her cousins, one a university student and the other a high school student. She did not became a Tavub (collaborator), nor a "tactical collaborator" as instructed by the Mojahedin Organisation to its members in order to save its members. Some of these "tactical collaborators" acted worse than other non-tactical collaborators against the other prisoners.

The collaborators try to justify their actions by pointing out that it was the pressure, tortures, beating by electric cables and kicking by the guards which made them turn against the other prisoners, I say to the collaborator you are wrong and you can not justify your actions. When you are in the prison there is always the threat of execution. The reason for us being in the prison, was because of our struggle against capitalism and its forces and we knew that its consequences was "death or life", therefore taking part in interviews and denunciation of one's believes, collaboration and spying on other prisoners is not justifiable. Anyway I accept that different people have different limits and some people can break down under pressure and torture, I would respect these people if they would criticise what they have done and would come to these meetings abroad and explain their reasons for collaboration with Islamic Republic Regime.

1982 - 1983 was the year when Mojahedin organisation instructed its members to collaborate tactically with the regime in order to save its members. It was a difficult time for the other prisoners, the collaborators would gather the other prisoners and in particular members of left wing organisations and control their every movement. Sometimes when two prisoners were walking together a collaborator would put her between them, other times the prisoners were gathered, shouted at and attacked. The Tavubin carried out all their actions with the prison authority's knowledge, "divide and rule policy" (prisoners against prisoners). There were times when the authority banned reading of the political, economical and cross word sections of daily newspapers. They even stopped prisoners listening to the Friday prayer (representing the regime's points of views) and if anybody would break these restrictions, they would be interrogated, beaten up and could even have their prison term extended. I remember the beginning of 1983; section3 of the women prison was allocated to the collaborators. They would only read columns of newspapers announcing deaths or accident reports, when they finished reading they would give the papers to us. There weren't many of us, we had a separate tablecloth which we used to put our food on it (tablecloth is put down on the floor and the food is placed on it). We also had a plastic mug for drinks; the Tavubin would pass them to us by attaching a string to it because they did not believe that we were clean as non-believers. Thursday night was a good night for us, as Tavubin would go to the special prayer ( komail prayer ) service, we had the freedom to walk in our cells in peace.

Tavubin would enthusiastically, attend and watch their friends being tortured and beaten up by electric cables. Their action was painful for other prisoners. I felt sorry for them, thinking " what sort of regime could do this" reversing their entire revolutionary enthiusam and excitement and making them into pitiful people in an inhumane situation. How did the regime managed to crush and throw away these young lives who should have blossomed and take everything meaningful out of their lives. Young girls who were now spending all their time reading Quran, crying hysterically while praying for hours. I can not forget these times, I knew despite their appearance many of them were unhappy about what they were doing. Happiness was banned from these sections. All day the prison authorities were broadcasting unhappy religious songs.

On the other side of the coin were prisoners who would tolerate all the pressures, beating by Tavubin and insults by Pasdarans (guards). These prisoners were sent to isolation cells, punishment cells and spent months and years in these cells. They tolerated beating by electric cables but never gave up their believes. These prisoners were mostly members of left wing organisations.

1984 was the year of mass punishment in Evin; the spring and summer were the time for relaxing and rejuvenating. At last the regime realised that there are some prisoners who it can not do anything about or make them give up their believes, therefore they were placed in a separate section. At first they sent a few Tavub in particular two young girls who were the eyes and ears of the prison authorities. At one time they were very popular because of their resistance under torture but now they were controlling our section in sadistic way writing reports on other prisoners for hours. Despite all their dedication and service to the prison authority they were always insulted by their masters and in particular Mohabati. The Tavubin's lives, or better said their treacherous lives made me think. May be their youth, lack of political knowledge, lack of understanding of Capitalism and its operation, tactical collaboration as ordered by Mojahedin, difficult experiences during 1980-1981, realisation that nothing would happen in the near future in the society and constant threat of death made them to betray their believes.
Forgive me if on occasions I return to the subject of Tavubin but at present time I invite the researchers to study this phenomenon and ask the ex-collaborators, who are now living abroad and are under no pressure to come out and clarify why they behaved in that way.

Beating up with electric cables was used firstly for not obeying the rules and secondly at the start of interrogation of new prisoners to obtain written confession from them. Beating up with fists, kicking, skull fractures, chaining up of the prisoners and continuous threat of execution was a norm in the prisons of the Islamic Republic Regime. When Facor one of the prison chief visited cells, he used to wrap a cable around his hand and put his hand behind his head. He was hungry for torture. At the end of the visits he would attack the inmates with the cable for not saying hello to him or not paying attention to him while he was talking, not following the regulations and many other insignificant things.

Autumn 1984 was a time of mass punishment and beating of the prisoners in the prison yard. Once they put a call in the loudspeaker telling everybody to go to the yard observing Islamic dress code (Hejab). We thought the Pasdaran were going to search the cells and destroy everything in them and make them look like they have been over-run by a victorious army subsequently needing a lot of hard work to return to their previous condition. But as "Mohabati" and several Male Pasdars together with a chair and electric cables entered the yard we realised that we were wrong and there is another reason to this gathering. We were all facing the walls; "Mohabati" and Pasdaran started beating some prisoners with electric cables insisting that the other should watch their actions. The other prisoners refused objecting to their demands and a few were sent back to their cells. They tried to call everybody to the yards several weeks later but because of our experience we refused to leave our cells. Suddenly "Mohabati" and Pasdaran came to the cells and started beating and kicking us with whatever they could get their hands on. All our dishes were broken in the process as they used them for attacking us. They picked some up and throw them in the yard and pushed others out. During this mayhem three people lost their eyeglasses. They repeated the same thing in the prison yard, picking on an older prisoner who told them they were worse than Yazid (Yazid killed Hussein the third Imam in Shiett sect during their power struggle) and two other prisoners beating them severely. After this they told the prisoners in three of the cells to pack their belongings, we did not know where they were going to send us but we knew it was for punishment. We thought they were going to take us to "Gohardasht"(another prison), after queuing in a single line for sometime covered by a Chador and carrying all our belonging. Mohabati while insulting and swearing at us directed us towards the old medical centre, we looked funny in our outfit. A door opened followed by stairs into a cellar, which was used for torturing prisoners a few years back, the bed that the Pasdaran used for torture was still there and the walls were covered by blood stains. Mohabati gave a small speech and said our ration would be halved, food, air etc. When Mohabati finished they put us in two cells and locked the doors.

The cell was smaller than 20square metres and there were thirty-five of us with 70 bags, 35 slippers, a few washing bowls and bedding. Somehow we had to find room for everything, on top of this two of the prisoners had Tuberculosis. The ventilation was in the hall and the fresh air was entering the room through the gap at the bottom of the door. On occasions the Pasdaran would turn the ventilation fan off as a punishment, breathing was very difficult especially for the prisoners with tuberculosis. They used to put their nose by the bottom of the door and were always short of breath. We would shout and knock at the door but nobody could hear us or we would be ignored. We were allowed to use the washing facilities and toilet for half an hour four times a day. There was one toilet, one shower and sometimes in order to punish us further they would reduce the time. Once they did not let us use the washing facilities for 31 hours. Our food ration consisted of small amount of bread for breakfast and dinner, half a glass of tea and a scoop of rice, which was increased later on.

The prison authority did not leave us alone even at this place, one day they told us to get ready to go out because Mohabati was going to talk to us, we did not believe them. They took us to the hall. Mohabati came with Fokor and several Pasdar and gave a brief talk, they wanted to punish one of our comrades and when we refused to volunteer they went mad, attacked everyone with electric cables. Several of the prisoners had fractured skulls, one person lost her hearing and again the walls were covered in bloods. The following day was the prison visit day but the authority cancelled it because most of the prisoners were in the prison clinic. We were concerned about our families, what were they going through? not being able to visit their children and loved ones. During the next visit, my forehead was still swollen from the beating received. I explained to my parents what had happened to me.

These conditions prevailed for five months, and then they sent us to the main section of prison in small groups. The Islamic republic regime lost any hope of converting us, none of their actions including beating by cables, Isolation cell, locking up a large group of us in one small room in the cellar had any effect on us. They did not know what to do. Our enthusiasm, excitement in speedily organising our cells and lives after transfer to the main section of the prison surprised the Pasdaran and they said to us what sort of people are you, you get beaten up you laugh, go to isolation come back full of life. We were a new and unbelievable phenomenon for them. From this time we did not have any Tavub amongst us, we did not have to wake up early in the morning with the sound of Azan(daily calls for prayer - five times a day) from tavubins' radio or worry about their daily reports on us which was unimportant for us in any case. We were left on our own and followed our own programme.

In summer of 1985 we were transferred to section 325. I have to add that while the regime accepted the new situation, continued to harass us by different means. One way was to continuously transfer us to different cells and sections. When we started to settle in our new cells they would come and tell us to pack our belongings ready to move to another section and cell. The cells they would move us were usually very dirty and we had to spend the first few days cleaning and organising them. This required a lot of energy and hard work, difficult for us as we were under nourished. This time they sent us to an unknown section, the only people who knew about this section were those who were jailed during Shah's regime. It was an old two-storey building with a beautiful garden, massive tall trees and a small stream running between the trees, which remind us of Tehran's outskirts. There were some facilities in this section, which we could not believe. Everyday from 6am to 9pm we could go to the yard and enjoy the fresh air. There was a volleyball court, we bought a ball and net and organised our teams. Some prisoners who were boycotting the prison store stopped their boycott as items which were paid for by other prisoners, were now delivered to them. However at the beginning the inside of the building was very unhygienic, the white tiles in shower room and toilet were brown because of dirt. We had to spend a long time scraping and washing managing to get rid of all the dirt and stains. It took us two days to clean and tidy up the inside of the building, we got very tired but were happy at the end of it and talking and wondering about when they would transfer us next

This continuous moving to different cells involved a lot of unpaid cleaning operation. The new condition was unusual for us and it reminded us Shomloo's poem "peace would be followed by a horrible death". We were expecting something bad to happen, on one occasion during our stay in the new section a Mojahed was taken for interrogation but was never returned. We heard later that she was executed, there was also a prisoner who became mentally unstable. She was arrested during the fighting in Khiabani's house (one of Mojahedin's leader who was killed during fighting with regime's forces in his house). She collaborated totally with the regime during the interrogation and I think the antagonism between her past and present made her mentally unstable. She was completely distorted when they brought her to our section refusing to eat, would not move from her place. We tried to feed her but to no avail. The Mojahedin prisoners refused to help her because of her collaboration with the regime but we could not ignore her inhumane conditions.

There was also the question of hygiene and the general health of the group including several children. We decided to wash her dirty bedding and clothing twice a day and took turn to carry her to the washroom for washing. Every time Pasdaran changed their shifts we asked them to take her to the clinic or get her some medicine but they totally ignored us. We realised we can not carry on, so we decided to organise a hunger strike to protest against her inhumane condition. We sent a letter to the prison chief and explained our reason for the hunger strikes and stated that if she dies they would be responsible for her death. Because of our strike she was moved to another section but the prisoners who participated in the hunger strike were interrogated one by one for causing disturbances and threatened with execution. We were again transferred, this time to section 3. From the gaps in the blinds we could see Evin village, part of Luna Park and a large section of south of Tehran towards Qom, this was interesting for us.

1986 was the year Iraqi missiles were pouring down on Tehran. We would follow the missiles through the gaps in the blind and try to guess where it would land. During the prison visit we would tell our families about the areas that were hit, this was interesting for our family as the regime was censoring some of the news in the mass media. One of these sites that the regime did not announce was Qom refinery. This was a worrying time for us; we weren't concerned so much about ourselves but for our people who we loved and could hear and see being slaughtered in an aimless war. Another event during this period was an opinion survey which the prison authority organised, "Pishavar" the new prison warden gathered every body and while smiling said that " we have a democratic atmosphere in the prison now", do not be frightened, express your opinion. The opinion survey was about the Islamic Republic Regime and political organisations opposed to it. When Pisavar finished he said to the prisoners they could telephone their families. Another time a Mullah (Islamic priest) visited all the cells and asked the prisoners about their opinion saying that the Regime want to give amnesty. He was met with different opinion such as we don't believe in Islamic Republic Regime's amnesty. We were suspicious about the prison authority's actions.

The situation on the war front saw more defeats for the regime and open opposition from people during media interviews. General war weariness was all pointing to an end to the war but how and when?
We did not think that the regime would let us leave the prison alive. We tried to follow the social issues in the society as best as we could but on 27th of July 1987; the Pasdaran came to our cell and took the television. Later on they put out a tannoy and asked everybody to write down their views about the regime and what they have been accused of. We refused to do this and told them that we are not going to Islamic republic's job for them. The Pasdaran came to our cells and took everyone to the interrogation room interrogating everyone and noted what they said. For the first time the Mojahedin prisoners, who always said their crime was to be a Monafeq (An Islamic term used by IRR for calling Mojahedin) changed it to Mojahed, the Pasdaran laughed and said we shall see.

The prison authority banned the daily newspapers, cancelled all prison visits and all other activities were disallowed, we did not know what was happening outside but whatever was happening did not seem to be good news. We were completely isolated from the outside world. One day everybody was asked to go to the yard. We just got out when one of the Mojahedian prisoner who was previously in our section came to us looking pale starting to cry saying that she has seen the male prisoner in groups of 10 with their belongings being taken to be executed. She said the IRP is killing the prisoners, she also said she was taken to main section of the prison to identify a body. She was still talking when they called her from the office and we had to go back to our cells a few minutes later.

The Mojahedin prisoners were upset and worried after hearing her, they gathered around each other crying. During the night the authority called the names of several Mojahed, within 2 to 3 nights all Mojahedins plus several members of left wing group and one Tudeh party member who were not yet charged were called and sentenced to life in prison after several appearance in IRP's courts. They were removed from their cells with all their belongings. During the night the Pasdaran would shine their torch in our face and while laughing would say it will be your turn next. Every morning till 4pm we were waiting for our names to be called on speaker to be taken for execution. We sighed of relief laughing saying that we ll. live till tomorrow. We did not know the extent of the execution.

Having achieved its objective of creating an atmosphere of fear and repression and under pressure from world public opinion the IRP realised that there was no need for execution at the present time. Families were allowed prison visits again; they endured a lot of pain and hardship as they lost any hope of seeing us alive. During the visits we found out that more than 30 people have been executed from our section. Amongst those who were executed there were several whose prison terms were finished a long time ago. I can not forget the last time I talked to Mahin, while crying she said, I am not crying because I am frightened of death. I am upset because Rajavi (Mojahedin's leader) used us as cannon fodder. Many prisoners lost their husbands, brothers. Thousands were executed.

The IRP was still unhappy and feeling hurt that it could not have eliminated a generation who have grown up in prison, facing their daily repression and still expressing their views without fear of death. To complete their actions they started a medieval show under the title "hade ertad -punishment for women for giving up Islam. Women can not be executed in Islam by firing squad so they would be whipped during the praying times until they convert to Islam or die. They would tell 10 people to pack their belongings taking them to their judicial courts which would last for a few minutes, questioning them about their views and whether they pray or not. Then they would be sent back to their cells branded anti religious (anti god). The ten had to go to a corridor that was called "resting place" at 4am, 12noon, 5pm, 7pm and 11pm. Pasdaran would make sure that the prisoners were not wearing thick clothing. The prisoners had to lie on a chair in the middle of the corridor. The guards would ask every prisoner whether they observe daily prayer Namaz (Moslem have to pray 5 times daily to god at times mentioned above called Namaz) and if they said no the guards would whip them severely. The order from the court was that the whipping should continue until death and could only be stopped if she would say she is a Moslem otherwise there was no stopping to this torture.

Many of the prisoners went on hunger strike to protest against the court order, the guards would carry these prisoners to the chair so that they could have their share of Islamic justice, several prisoners committed suicide but only one was successful. She was a young prisoner. During the prison visits her mother would go by the prison door and tell other families that her daughter has got lost, and asking them to inquire whether the other prisoners have seen her. She could not believe that her daughter was dead and became mentally ill. The news of this sad event and its exposure in the world made the IRP to temporally stop its actions against the prisoners.

But it was not the end of matter for us, we knew the regime (our enemy) from close encounter during years of class struggle and the regime knew us well. The IRP did not try to cover up its actions in the prison, they would say we shall execute you just like your comrades and do not think that the people will free you one day. We have learnt our lessons from shah's regime. We shall shoot you all if there is going to be any uprising in the society. The atmosphere was not quietened down in the prison when once again the prison authority put a call in the tannoy asking some prisoners to go the prison office.
This time it was the turn of the prisoners, whose prison term was already finished, there were 70 of us. When they told us that they are going to take us to " Gohardasht" prison we said to ourselves they are going to repeat what they have done to the male prisoners. We were waiting for new sentences (prison terms) and executions. In "Gohardahat there was an atmosphere of repression. They took us to small place next to a hall where the male prisoners were held. We just arrived there past mid night when we were all taken for interrogations. During these interrogations they asked about our opinion of the IRP and the political groups which were arrested with regard to.

We were asked for a relative's phone number, we thought they want to ring them and say that they have executed us. We were in "Gohardasht for three weeks when they transferred us back to Evin prison. All these pressures against us and our families who had to come from other cities and provinces and were very upset and stressful after the massacres of 1987 was carried out in order to keep us away and out of sight of UN human right observers. Galindopol was coming to observe the situation in Evin prison and the human right situation in Iran. His observation was favourable to IRP and its conduct of human rights in the society. His report would pave the way for west to lend billions of dollars to murderous IRP.

I like to end my talk by thanking everybody for his or her patience and apologise for any inconvenience and as an ex-political prisoner hope for the day when there are no political prisoners in the world. I demand unconditional release of all political prisoners, freedom of all political activities and meetings that are the basis of social rights.
Long live socialism
Down with the world capitalism